Advent Devotional #6: Love
“Do I believe that Christ loved me and gave himself for me?”
by Rev. Susan Robb from Almost Christmas: Devotions for the Season
There are times in our lives when it’s difficult to believe, as John Wesley said, that “Christ loved me and gave himself for me.” We may wonder, as Mary wondered at the angel’s words, “How can this be?” We may feel as if your past is too dark, or we can’t possibly be loved by God until we have become more perfect, cleaned up a little better. Otherwise, we are not worthy of such sacrificial love.
A few defining moments in my life have brought assurance that even I am loved by Christ. This is the story of one such moment.
On the first Christmas my husband and I celebrated together as a married couple, the bump barely visible under my winter sweater was a small indicator of the giant-sized joy we were feeling at the recent news that we were going to have a baby. Being pregnant during the Christmas season made me resonate more deeply than ever with Mary’s story. This child that we would not meet for months was already loved beyond measure and was, in our minds, a divine miracle offered to us older-aged newlyweds. Like Mary, I felt “favored.”
In our unbridled excitement, my husband and I went shopping and bought the kind of gifts we hoped to give to our child one day and deposited them at the local Angel Tree. A bicycle, basketball, dolls, building blocks, and more were offered as reverently as gold, frankincense, and myrrh, because every child, we thought, is worthy of knowing they are a beloved gift from God, especially at Christmas. That Christmas was aglow with joy and hope for the future. All was calm. All was bright.
Fast-forward ten years and it was a bit less perfect. Two weeks before Christmas, there were precious few gifts under the tree for our now two children, and Christmas cards impatiently waited to be addressed. One morning I wondered, “When will there be time to create the perfect Christmas for my family between work, seminary, and keeping up with two busy children?” By early evening the question didn’t matter. I was frantically driving our firstborn to the emergency room where a surgeon and my husband would be waiting to meet us. It was suspected she had a ruptured appendix and time was of the essence. As I glanced to check our limp daughter, moaning in the back seat, I saw our young son’s dirty face, clothes, and bare feet. I had hurriedly scooped him up from playing in his sandbox on our way to the car, and only now did I realize he had no shoes. So be it. We weren’t turning back.
Darkness was descending as we rounded the corner toward Children’s Hospital, and the beautiful blue lights of its towering Christmas tree acted as a beacon directing us toward the emergency room drive. We were almost there. Almost to the lifesaving help our daughter needed. As we pulled up to the drive, our car was abruptly stopped by a sea of traffic barricades and a police officer explaining that we couldn’t come through until the tree lighting ceremony, complete with local NFL celebrities and hordes of onlookers, had ended.
My children still tell stories of how, at that moment, my personality turned immediately from the normal pleasant one of the mother they knew into one exhibited by a fiercely aggressive momma bear protecting her cubs. Within seconds we had a police escort into the emergency room! Effusive thanks and apologies followed.
Five days later, our daughter was back home, minus an appendix, and recovering in her bed.
The final week before Christmas wasn’t spent frantically shopping and addressing Christmas cards. Most days were spent quietly, with our family all piled on the sofa reading Christmas stories together, wrapping the few presents we did have - together - and taking care of the precious gift we had been given ten years before. It is one of our favorite Christmas memories.
It is rare now that I wonder, “How can this be, that Christ loves me? That God came in the flesh of a child to give himself up for me?” because I know that if the love I have for my own children is so deep, so protective and fierce, how much greater must his love be for me, the precious child he came to save.
Every child of God, including you, should know that there is One who loves you tenderly, fiercely, and aggressively. Even if your past or present is dark. Even if you aren’t perfect. Even if you feel dirty or have no shoes.
Reflection Questions:
Do you believe that Christ loves you and gave himself for you?
What stands in the way of you truly believing that?